For those of you who don't know, I drive a '91 Ford Festiva. It's Ford's version of the Geo Metro. Apparently, it's also the reason Ford dropped it's "Quality is Job 1" slogan.

The heartaches this car has given me have ranged from tears in the seats, to wheels almost falling off and leaving me and Shawn stranded in Marietta, OH for 6 hours. I've bent wheel rims by sliding off icy roads. Twice. In the same week. My seat belt (one of those automatic ones) doesn't work. I have to unlock

the emergency release to get out of my car. And, oh yeah, it's a Ford. But the recent days in the ever-shortening life of this vehicle take the cake.

For example, my driver's side headlight is out. Big deal? Well, so is my passenger side brakelight. And my parking brake doesn't work if I'm on an incline of more than 3 degrees. Wait...there's more.

I can't signal for a turn. At all. The signal lever is jammed if I try to signal right. And until a few days ago I could signal left. Now I signal left constantly. There's a short in the wiring and my left signal light blinks whenever the engine is running. If I pull the fuse to make it stop, I lose power to my reverse lights, dash lights, warning lights, emergency flashers, dome light (which doesn't work anyway), and of course my turn signals.